Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
