O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
