I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
