i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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