I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Randomize
