her vagine was all disorganized.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
