with your own penis?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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