where am i from again
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
