So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
