I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
