this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
