Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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