You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So vagazzling was a success
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
