Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Still dying that you shit outside
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
