you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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