i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
