is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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