the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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