hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
