I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He felt like a one man threesome
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
