Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
