Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
