let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
