theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
