god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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