Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
