I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
