these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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