the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
