I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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