What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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