guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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