Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
