i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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