but the lizard people decide everything anyway
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
