and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
