I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
4 words: hood of his car
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
