ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
