I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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