do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize