it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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