I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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