i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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