i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
