My room smells like vodka and shame
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
