Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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