Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
