The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
