My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
