What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
