Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
