And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I need a beard to bite.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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