u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
