Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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