is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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